Astrology and Relationships, Finding your Mate!

Bree's Spiritual Design Astrology

One of the age old questions that astrologers often receive is whether the planets can help you in your relationships. As an astrologer, I can happily say that you can absolutely trust the planets to give you guidance in your relationships, but you need to make sure you are using astrology properly. If you don’t – then of course it won’t work for you!

One of the main ways in which it is easy to go wrong with astrology is if you only follow your Sun Sign. In truth, astrology is much more complicated than just the sign that the Sun was in at the time of your birth, and you also need to look at all the other planets in the sky at the same time to work out your motivations, desires, negative aspects and positive traits. All of these planets share their energy with you, but you need a full picture of your astrological chart if you are to gain any wisdom regarding what energies are coming in & how to work with them.

It is well known in scientific circles that the planets have an effect on our life here on Earth, from influencing the tides to having an impact on our menstrual cycles. The Sun in particular can change the growth of plants and it would be strange to think that it didn’t also have an effect on our moods and motivations. Of course it is also the same with other planets like the Moon which affects the tides, so why could it not affect us as humans? Answer, it does!

As such, the planets also affect our relationships, but again you need a full picture of your natal chart if you are to get any real answers. Most of us read our Sun Sign horoscopes, sometimes on a daily basis, but these only offer a snapshot of one planet and it is a hit or miss,  generally a miss. We are of course way more complicated than just one of twelve signs! It could be for example that you have your Sun in Taurus, but that all your other planets are in other signs, others houses, or you may have a stack of planets in a sign like Cancer which is a Water sign rather than Earth sign Taurus. And you have no fire, no energy, no motivation which are the fire signs. As such, you are likely to be way more emotional, off balance. How do you balance that energy?  In addition to your Sun Sign, you also need to look at your Rising Sign which is also called the Ascendant and your Lunar Nodes, as well as all the other planets in your chart and the astrological houses they are found in. And what planets are on your cusp? That also matters!

When it comes to looking at your relationships using astrology, there are a number of factors that you need to look at:

The Elements and Signs:

In astrology, all signs are associated with an element. These include Fire (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius), Earth (Capricorn, Taurus, and Virgo), Air (Gemini, Aquarius and Libra) and Water (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces). This is relevant to your relationships as people who share the same element or compatible elements are usually said to be complementary to each other. Water and Earth signs go well together, as do Fire and Air signs. But that’s still not the whole picture just because one’s a Fire sign & one’s an air sign, far from it! I laugh when I see blog post telling people if you’re a Gemini & She’s a Capricorn expect trouble waters, nothing can be further from the truth! I’m a Capricorn, & my husband’s a Gemini, we’ve been married for 34 years! To be compatible in a relationship it takes soooo much more than a simple sun sign!

Sun Signs:

Your Sun Sign is the sign that the Sun was in at the time you were born, and when we ask people their “zodiac sign” we really mean their Sun Sign. Your Sun Sign is linked to yourself and your key identity.  When it comes to relationships, your Sun Sign compatibility with your mate is very important. If you have compatible Sun Signs which have the same element, such as two Fire signs, then you will be similar in nature which will lead to you having an innate understanding of one another. If you have very different elements, however, such as Fire and Water, then this can also lead to a good match as you will compliment each other. But will it last? It takes both partners full astrology chart to know!

Moon Signs:

This is the sign the Moon was in at the time of your birth and is related to your inner nature. It is also linked to your home and family and the relationship you have with your mother. If you have a compatible Moon Sign with your partner then it will greatly help your relationship, particularly if they compliment each other. If your Moon signs are compatible then it will mean that you will have a deeper emotional connection with a partner.

Rising Sign or Ascendant:

Your Rising Sign is the sign that was rising on the eastern horizon at the moment of your birth. Your Rising Sign is all about how you present yourself to the world or it is how most people see you. It is the outer you, or the one you show most to other people. In a relationship, your Rising Sign is one of the key influencers as it is all about how and why you are first attracted to someone. With that in mind, it could be that you are attracted to someone with a wildly different Rising Sign than your own with different elements. This is a time when a Water sign, for example, may be attracted to an Air sign, or a Sagittarius (Fire) attracted to a Taurus (Earth).

The Lunar Nodes:

In astrology, the Lunar Nodes are mathematical points related to the orbit of the Moon along the path of the Sun (known as the ecliptic) and these are not zodiac signs or planets. There are two nodes called the North and South Node which sit on an axis and map out where you have come from and where you are likely to go in life. The North Node is your destiny or your destination in life and the South Node is about your past lives or where you are starting off from. Your North and South Nodes are always opposite each other on the astrological wheel, so if your North Node is in Taurus then your South Node will be in Scorpio. When you are in a relationship, the nodes play a key role in your meeting in the first place, and if your nodes cross each other then you are likely to cross paths in life. The nodes can also show you if there is a past life connection between yourself and a potential mate!


In the end, if you want to use astrology to figure out your relationship compatibility then you need to look at the Sun, Moon and Rising signs of you and your mate – although remember that this is still not enough. Really, you need to draw up your full natal chart and the natal chart of your partner if you are going to get the full picture.

One very important thing to remember however is that astrology is meant to make you aware, but this does not mean that you should use it to rule your life. Just because you meet someone with a wildly different chart to yours, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be in a harmonious relationship.

Instead, finding out that you have a very different chart from someone can be a good thing if you can learn how to navigate some of the inevitable pitfalls in your relationship. Even signs who do not come across as immediately compatible can learn to work together to make their relationship stronger and all the more balanced if they are willing to look at the full astrological picture. The key to a successful relationship is awareness and mutual understanding of the need for two different personalities to learn to coexist.

Blessings, Bree

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